Tips for Talking to Your Children About Divorce
Clients know that getting a divorce is already difficult enough, but things become even more complicated when you have children. Ryan S. Dougay has seen first-hand how divorce deeply impacts children and how it can change their lives for some time. However, that doesn’t mean you should delay telling your children about your divorce. Here are some tips for talking to your children about divorce:
Break the News With Your Spouse
As a family lawyer Austin, TX parents can attest, it is a good idea to talk to your children about the divorce with your spouse. This way, no one will feel like the bad guy who broke this upsetting news.
Choose a Private Place to Talk
The last thing you want to do is break this kind of news in a restaurant or other public place. You want your children to feel safe and free to express themselves. It is best to tell your children in a quiet room in your home. This way, they won’t feel afraid to express their emotions.
Don’t Talk Poorly About Your Spouse
Even if you’re angry with your spouse, you should avoid speaking poorly about him around your children. Doing so can put your children in an uncomfortable situation. You don’t want them to think they have to choose sides. Instead, just stick to the facts of the divorce. For example, you could tell them that you and your spouse have too many differences and divorce is the best option for you two.
Let Your Children Know the Divorce Isn’t Their Fault
Many times, children feel like they are what caused their parents to split up. This can cause them to feel an incredible amount of guilt. That’s why you should reassure your children that divorce had nothing to do with them. Tell them that you and your spouse still love them dearly and nothing will change that.
Talk About New Routines
Your children’s routines may change quite a bit after divorce, so it’s important to discuss this matter with them. For example, if they will be living with you and visiting with your spouse every other weekend, make sure to tell them. The sooner they learn about the new routines, the faster they will get used to them.
Allow Your Children to Ask Questions
After you tell your children about the divorce, they will likely have a lot of questions. You should make it clear to them that they can ask anything they want. Be sure to answer them with true and complete answers. If you don’t know the answer to one of their questions, tell them that you aren’t sure just yet.
Behaviors To Look Out For
Many times, the legal aspect of divorce is not the hardest part. A family lawyer in Austin, TX can attest to how children are affected in this sensitive process and explain how dividing assets and signing papers is not as complicated as dealing with the emotional matters involving your children.
- Children of divorce tend to blame themselves for it. Especially with young children, divorce can cause the children to think things like: “if I had been more behaved or did better in school, my parents would not have divorced”. Teenagers may blame their natural deviance as reason for their parents’ divorce as well.
- Children may feel pressured to choose a side. Again, this is where it’s beneficial to avoid negative talk about your spouse. When it happens, children feel as if they are caught in the middle and forced to choose a side. They want to love both parents equally, but the thought of betraying the other parent leaves them having to figure out how to get their needs met without making the other parent angry or hurt.
- Children may feel resentful or angry towards the parent that initiated the divorce. Kids can become upset, even in abusive marriages or other extreme cases, with the parent they feel is responsible for breaking up their family.
- Children feel unstable in their living situation. Whether the child’s parents live close by or far apart, moving from house to house back and forth can take a toll on a child. They may feel as if they are rarely settled in before uprooting back to the other house again.
- Children may begin to act out at school. Children who have parents that are going through a divorce tend to channel their energy toward bullying or defying authority to gain attention.
- Children feel the burden more than you think. Many older siblings may see their younger sibling struggling with the divorce. This may stress them out even more, because they feel as though everyone is depending on them for guidance.
- Children develop independence faster. Oftentimes, the children of divorced parents are forced to grow up faster and learn their independence skills quicker than if they were from a two parent family.
Let a Family Lawyer Austin, TX Families Rely on Help
Talking to your children about divorce is never easy, but following these tips can help make things a little less awkward. If you need additional advice about your divorce, don’t hesitate to contact Ryan S. Dougay. We encourage you to give a family lawyer Austin, TX trusts a call tody to setup a free consultation.
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Ryan S. Dougay offers a broad range of legal services in all areas of [state] family law, including divorce, legal separation, child support, child custody, modification of orders, paternity, and other related issues.
As a full service family law firm, we have extensive experience in complex cases,as well as general family matters that require legal expertise. Our family lawyers provide tailored strategies and results that are center-focused on the client. Guided by a commitment to providing thorough, effective, and ethical representation, we have earned a reputation as being a leading family law firm in Texas. For a consultation with a family lawyer serving Austin, TX, call Ryan S. Dougay
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As a respected family lawyer for Austin, TX, we are committed to our practice. When you work with us, we will offer you support and honest counsel through every stage of the proceeding. Our lawyers and staff recognize that family legal matters are often emotionally charged, and tend to involve issues that require life changing decisions. We know that all possible outcomes must be evaluated, after which, our client should be educated on how to make an informed decision that best reflects their needs and interests.
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Ryan S. Dougay is on the cutting edge of family law practice. Our firm tends to utilize alternative dispute resolution to limit expenses, time, acrimony, and a negative psychological impact on any minors that are involved. If alternative dispute resolution is not successful, a family lawyer for Austin, TX is litigation savvy, and will do anything legally possible to protect your rights.
As a full service family law firm, we offer comprehensive services in the following practice areas:
- Abuse and neglect
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When you choose our firm to be your advocate, mentor, and trusted family lawyer, you can feel confident in knowing that your Austin, TX family lawyer:
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